Friday, June 19, 2015

2015 Week 24: Regrets, I've Had a Few

Regret Nothing

So I had a birthday this week. I don't really make a thing out of it, it's just another day and we grow older by the second, so whatever. But at 42, while I've reached a point of not giving a fuck that I've written about before, I still look back at roads not taken, which I've also written about before. One of those roads is having developed as a writer. But it dawned on me this week that one of the things that gives me any potential as a writer is the fact that writing was always the window through the wall I built around myself. It was and is a wall I built to protect my awkward and socially misunderstood soft inner core. The thing is, at a certain point, I made a choice, either consciously or not, to break at least some of that wall down in order to have an actual life. When I did that, I think I lost a little bit of the honesty, passion and hunger I had for writing because I didn't need it. It's a trade off I don't regret. The thing is had I not done that, I might be a great writer now, but I'd also be a miserable hermit. As it is, I get to have a great family, good friends and still be a joyfully miserable hermit on occasion, so best of both worlds.  Anyway, I'll continue to plug away at this writing thing as best I can whenever I find the time and energy and that's all I can do. At least now I actually have real things to write about sometimes. Sometimes.

So with that in mind, this week's Spotify playlist is about the back and forth of regret and acceptance. It's about doing things your way, when possible, but the reality that life sometimes doesn't let you or you just weren't strong enough that time. Some of it is about that guy with the wall up and what happens when it comes down. Life is not all about glory, after all. Sometimes we're disappointed in ourselves. Sometimes it's not our fault. And sometimes it totally is. So, here is Regrets, I've Had a Few.

No comments:

Post a Comment